Frosty Flowers
by Ryouko Akizakura
Summary: Sasuke and Sakura are preparing for a mission. Sakura realizes that hoping isn't enough, and gives up on Sasuke. Sasuke figures this out, and decides to try to fix it, but discovers that it won't be easy. SasuSaku. I do not own Naruto.
1. I'm So Cold

**Author's Note**: A new one-shot or chaptered piece. Not sure which. But I finished it. It's got an Anti-SasuSaku feel to it, but, the SasuSakuness is still there. xD I think I'll leave this out in the open, actually. It depends if people want me to comtinue it, or not. xD Anyway, enjoy it. xD

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own SasuSaku, Sasuke, Sakura, or any of the other characters that appear or are mentioned. I own nothing. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!

* * *

The rain fell, silent upon the village known as Konohagakure. The heavens were weeping. It was miserable weather for mission launches. It was miserable weather for me to stay behind in Konoha, hurting from a wound that everyone around me shared. We had lost the Third Hokage, during Operation: Destroy Konoha.

I brushed my pink side bangs backward, and sighed, keeping my eyes on the sky as I adjusted the cape I had to wear over my ninja clothes. Naruto and Sasuke shifted beside me, as we waited in the pouring rain for Kakashi-sensei, so that we could start our next mission. Our next mission being to hunt down Orochimaru and kill him.

Kakashi-sensei hadn't protested when the elders had assigned the mission to us, neither had Naruto, Sasuke, or I. After all, we all wanted to make Orochimaru pay. But, the mission scared me as well. We were bringing Sasuke right into Orochimaru's clutches, weren't we? With that Curse Mark on Sasuke's neck still able to act up, it was a suicide mission in Sasuke's case.

But he didn't seem bothered by it. He just stood there, calm as a cucumber, as always. Nothing seemed to bother him. He just let everything roll right off of his back. At least, that's what it looked like to me. You could see it in his eyes. Those never changing black eyes. He seemed to never feel anything at all.

I often wondered what went on inside his head. Sometimes I wondered about whether he ever thought about me, or if he thought about some other girl that he may be interested in, or if he thought about battle strategies for the next mission. I wondered about him all the time. After all, he was the one I cared about most, who I'd do anything for.

But he didn't feel the same. He didn't ever show any interest in me, not even once. Even after everything I'd ever done for him, he still didn't care about me. He cared about me as far as teamwork went, but after that, he didn't feel anything. He didn't even care whether I was alive or dead. At least, that's how it seemed to me.

Even after I'd held his unconscious body in my arms during the second phase of the Chunin Exams, been the first to see him wake up after he'd nearly died on the bridge, protected him from Gaara of the Desert during the attack on Konoha, he still didn't feel anything. He still didn't care. I still didn't mean anything to him. I bit my bottom lip, and watched the rain fall, sliding down between my eyes. I didn't matter to him, so why did I try?

What was the point of loving someone who'd never love me back? What was the point of caring about someone who'd never care about me in return? What was the point of having this burden weighing me down, shoving me further into the depths of despair if he was never going to save me from it? What was the point of all of this? I closed my eyes, biting down on my lip harder.

I didn't understand myself. Honestly, I didn't understand why I would continue to love someone who didn't care about my existence, let alone how I felt about him. I'd told him that I wanted to be accepted by him, and although he'd acknowledged me, he still didn't care for me. He didn't think I was useful or worth his time. I was useless to him.

It was true; I wasn't really good at anything. I couldn't exactly fight very well, although I'd been given a few tips and pointers by Ino on one of her "good" days. No matter how hard I tried, I'd never measure up to his standards. I was never going to be good enough for him. I was never going to be able to have a chance.

I knew this, and yet I still yearned for him. I knew this and had accepted it long before now, and yet, I still wanted him. I still loved him. Even after knowing and accepting this, as well as all of the mean things he'd ever said to me, all of the times he'd brushed me off, I still longed to have his acceptance. I still wanted to be accepted by him.

This burden I carrying, the burden of loving him, the burden I wished I could let go of, give up on, and rid myself of, it was etched into my heart, permanently serving as a reminder of what happens when you fall for someone like Uchiha Sasuke. The cool, elite type, the class heartthrob who's so cocky and conceited that every girl in the room wants a shot at him. The one you have no chance of ending up with.

But, why did I still care? Why did I want to be with him with all of my heart? Why did I care? Why should I still care about an apathetic, conceited, arrogant ninja would couldn't care less about his one female teammate? Seriously, it was time for me to grow up. It was time for me to grow up and face the facts. Uchiha Sasuke was never going to love me or care for me. It was time for me to move on.

* * *

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. I could feel it in the way she stood there, that soft despaired gleam in her eyes. Something was wrong with Sakura. She was acting a lot different than normal. She hadn't even said a single word to me yet, and we'd already been here for about fifteen minutes. Something was bothering her.

I shifted, unsure of about how to ask her. I wasn't exactly the best at these kinds of things. I didn't have the heart or the guts to offer human things such as comfort or love, which I knew Sakura wanted. She'd told me nearly a thousand times already how she felt about me. She was just another one of those fan girls to me.

And yet, why did it bother me so much? Why did the sudden darkness of her mood hurt me like a thorn in my side? Maybe it was because I actually felt something for her in return? Was it because I actually cared about her as a teammate should? I wasn't sure why, but, something had to be done.

I took a step toward her, and turned my head, blinking my black eyes once. She hadn't noticed my presence, even though I was nearly touching her left shoulder. Normally she'd freak out and throw herself at me, as I was expecting, but she didn't move. She didn't even flick her eyes in my direction. Something was _very_ wrong.

"Are you mad about something or what?" I demanded in my usual, indifferent way of speaking, my eyes immediately hardening, expecting Sakura to revert back to her normal self. She didn't even turn or acknowledge that I was speaking to her. At least for thirty seconds.

"No, I'm fine. But thanks for asking." She replied, turning her dull jade eyes to me, her expression slightly bored, and oddly dead. I couldn't help but widen my eyes in surprise.

"You don't look it." I answered, Naruto stepping up beside me, finally noticing that something was bothering her. Sakura looked to Naruto, and smiled weakly.

"Seriously, I'm fine. When's Kakashi-sensei ever going to get here?" She replied, her now bright jade eyes glowing as she looked upon Naruto. I lifted an eyebrow. _What the hell?_

"Beats me." I answered lazily, turning to the sky.

No reply came toward me. She just left it there, hanging in the air, without an answer. She never left my comments without an answer, or reply. She always went out of her way to make sure I heard her opinions or what she had to say. This was _not_ a Sakura move. _What happened to her, I wonder?_

"Sakura, are you okay?" Naruto asked, looking from me to Sakura over and over. I turned and looked back at her from over my shoulder, as she looked at me with those now dead, empty, and dull jade eyes. _Did I say something? Do something? _

"I'm fine. Just leave it alone, Naruto." She replied, her dim eyes locked with my onyx ones. I snorted.

"Whatever. You're lying and we know that, Sakura." She whirled on me, scowling.

"How would you know? How would you know if you cared about me? How would you know unless you actually paid attention to me?" I narrowed my eyes, although I was surprised on the inside._ So it does have to do with me. _

"Sakura, what's wrong?" I asked again, more forcefully this time, so that she knew I was serious. Sakura stared back at me, no fear in her eyes. She honestly didn't care.

"Why would you care about it? You're Uchiha Sasuke, after all, aren't you? Don't you have a clan to avenge? Don't let my stupid problems get in the way of your revenge." The fact that she had gone directly for the weak spot was proof enough that she was hurt, hurt _badly_. Naruto watched us, his blue eyes confused.

"Sakura, that was kind of…Mean. What's going on with you?" He asked her again, Sakura turning to him with a slight smile on her face.

"Nothing's wrong Naruto." She responded, smiling at Naruto as brightly as she could manage, which surprised him. Greatly.

"Why are you smiling at me and not Sasuke?" He asked directly, getting to the point. She hardened her eyes as she looked at me, her irises cold.

"Because…He doesn't care about me. I realized it, and finally accepted it." I widened my eyes, Naruto gaping at her in disbelief.

"You-You WHAT?" Sakura flipped her pink side bangs back, and glared daggers at me.

"You heard me. I've accepted that Sasuke will never love and care about me, because he doesn't have room in his heart to do so. Besides, I'm annoying and I make him sick." My eyes throbbed. _She's throwing that back in my face? That's so…Harsh._

"Sakura, listen to yourself. This isn't normal. You should be going goofy in front of him, not harping on his screw ups and flaws." Naruto replied, as I snorted and turned away, not knowing how to handle it.

"Just leave her alone Naruto. She'll come around eventually." I murmured, looking up at the sky.

What if she didn't? What if she decided to hate me for the rest of our lives? What if she never came back around, what if she never came back to me? I bit down hard with my teeth, narrowing my throbbing eyes. There was no point. I was at fault for this, just like everything else. I let my family die, and I let Sakura go. I shoved her aside like she was nothing; I treated her like she was useless.

I cared about her, I truly did. But there was no way to show her that. Not now, it was too late. She'd already given up on me. She'd already thrown me aside, just like I'd done to her. And facing her lifeless jade eyes now, I couldn't see even a soft glimmer of hope or shred of love toward me. She was gone, lost to me. I had lost one of my teammates, all because of my arrogance and attitude toward others.

"But Sasuke! How can you just sit here and let her hurt the way she is? Why won't you do anything about it?" I looked away, tightening my right hand.

"Just leave her alone, loser. Don't you get it? She doesn't want anything to do with me. Just look at her." I muttered, turning, and shoving my hands into my pockets, starting to walk away.

It was over, just like that. Sakura was gone. Lost from my reach. I didn't even have the chance to tell or show her how I felt about her. Not that it mattered. She was intent on staying strong in her decision, that much you could see in her eyes, those dead jade irises.

I didn't know whether I'd be able to work with her effectively on this mission. After all, she looked at me as if she wanted me to die or get swallowed up by the dirt beneath my feet. That was some strong hatred she was feeling. But why? Why did she all of a sudden hate me so much as to wish for that? What did I do to her? What did I do to make her hate me so much, all of a sudden?

* * *

I watched him walk away, not able to help the sadness that welled up inside me. I had hurt him. I had hurt him even more than usual. Wait? Why did I care about whether I hurt him or not? He didn't care about me, right?

I thought back to the shattered look in his eyes when I'd told him that he didn't care about me. It was broken, and hurt. His irises had been throbbing from the inside, his heart literally breaking in front of my eyes. It pained him to see me go, that's why he couldn't bear to look at me. _Maybe if I just…_I shook my head. _No!_ I had to stand strong.

And yet, my feet moved as if controlled by someone else other than me as I ran toward him, his saddened figure. We still had a mission to go on. I'd have to figure it out on the way. I reached out with my right hand when I caught up to him, and grabbed his right hand in mine gently, but firmly, and started dragging him back to the gate.

"We still have a mission to go on, Sasuke. You can't just leave us like that." I scolded hotly, Sasuke looking at me with dull black eyes.

"Yeah, I know." I widened my eyes, and fought back the urge to comfort him. He didn't want me to comfort him, so why should I have wanted to bother?

I bit down on my bottom lip as our eyes met, Sasuke's just as broken and dull as mine were, feelings surging to the surface, beginning to rise. I couldn't give into them right now; I had to focus on the mission. The mission that could kill us all. I had to be focused on protecting Naruto, and Sasuke, unfortunately. He was the one I didn't really want to see at the moment, not until I made up my mind about him. Like right now.

"Sasuke…" I started, gently pulling him back to Naruto, my eyes closed as a dark shadow fell over my face. Sasuke averted his eyes from mine, not looking at me.

"Sakura…" He replied, as I pulled harder, Sasuke following without any words of protest. I shook my head, and bit my lip harder.

"Never mind."


	2. I Was Done Believing

**Author's Note**: A lot of things inspired this chapter. Particularly the songs "Already Over" by: Red, and "Forever" by: Red. As well as "Suna no Oshiro" by: Kanon Wakeshima. I guess this is where Sakura begins to start believing in Sasuke again, or at least accepts that he's going to figure it out. I know it's a bit too soon, but I have a plan as to where this story is heading. I'm sorry. I was bored. I didn't have any inspiration for anything else, so I just blared "Already Over" and started writing. The rest of it flowed pretty well, even though she let her touch him a bit _too_ early for my tastes, but all well. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own "Already Over" or "Forever" by: Red (Title of Chapter). I do not own Sasuke, Sakura, SasuSaku, or anything else in this chapter. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! I OWN NOTHING AT ALL!

* * *

I guess that's how it would end then. I guess I would always be loveless. I guess I would always be the lone pink flower on the dying tree in the winter, the last cherry blossom left before its tragic lifespan came to an end. I would always be alone, bitter, reaching as I fell, reaching for nothingness, my fingers sliding through the air as if it were an intangible shadow.

I was doomed to walk alone. I was doomed to die alone, without knowing how love felt. I would never know the feeling of holding someone in my arms. I would never know the feeling of being held by someone else, the intense swirling of emotions that were born from lip contact. I would never feel these things. My heart would always remain broken, forced into solitude, isolated.

It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault at all. How was he supposed to know that I was reaching for him as I was falling, falling through those spinning onyx depths, the blackness of the oblivion that waited for me pulling me under? It was hopeless. I would never resurface. I would never smile again. I would never again be smiled at. But I had no choice. That was the path I was born to walk.

Our paths didn't cross. I'd always known this, feared it. It wasn't his fault. He was better off with someone else, like Ino or Hinata. They would cradle him, comfort him, soothe him, console him when he was hurting. I looked down, my eyes drooping. I wasn't good enough for him. I would never be good enough for him.

The fragile warmth in my right hand, the static that coursed through my right arm, the ferocity of the butterflies in my stomach, the surge of wind through my body, the tingle on my lips, the fluttering of my heart, all of the things I wished I could shove down deep inside myself, they brought me back. They brought me back to where I was right now, in that moment: Towing Sasuke back toward Naruto, and now Kakashi-sensei.

I resisted the urges that soared through me, my cheeks beginning to flush, sweat pouring down the sides of my face as I gritted my teeth, struggling against my emotions and my heart. _Do it, Sakura. You want him, don't you? _I lifted my left hand up, and clamped it on the side of my head as I shook it, my eyebrows twitching. Now I was hearing creepy voices. Great. How much worse could my wretched life get? Sasuke lifted his head behind me, his black eyes flickering with concern, as he picked up the pace, falling into step beside me, turning to me.

"You gonna sulk all day, Sakura?" I forced myself to keep my eyes forward, ripping my hand out of his harshly, my jade eyes narrowed, and pained.

"Why would you care what I do?" I mumbled as I walked faster, leaving Sasuke in the dust, my eyes glistening with tears. _Do it, Sakura. You wish for release, don't you? _I shook my head again, my eyes screwed shut.

What was up with that creepy voice? Why was it talking to me? There was no one else around us that were female, let alone sort of coy sounding. Regardless, I turning and looked all around me, planting my feet as I drew a kunai, holding it in front of me, my jade eyes narrowing. Next time I heard it, I'd give it a piece of my mind.

_That's not gonna work._

I jerked my head backwards, my pink side bangs sliding across the sides of my face, my jade eyes widening in shock, as my irises throbbed. There it was again. I lifted my kunai, and spun around, my narrowed slits glowing through the furious rain. I would kill it, whatever it was. But probably not today. I sheathed my kunai, and sighed.

_That a girl, my dear cherry blossom. _

I snapped my teeth together, and tightened my right hand into a fist. A tight, angry fist. Why did I have to be the one who had to deal with all of this? Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why? Why was I that stupid and foolish? I let my tears fall, the shaken boy in front of me blinking his emotionless eyes at my despairing tears, and for once, he responded to me.

"Sakura…" I lowered my head in shame. I couldn't cry in front of him. I couldn't put the burden of my pain on his shoulders. I annoyed him enough.

"Just leave me alone, Sasuke." I snapped, Kakashi-sensei widening his good eye, Naruto snarling under his breath. Sasuke widened his eyes for a split second, showing a fragment of emotion, yet that tiny sparkle was gone as fast as it had came.

"What is wrong with you? Why won't you look at me?" He demanded, taking a step forward, his hand grabbing onto my wrist as I took a step away. I shook my sobbing face, my eyes screwed as tightly shut as I could manage.

"Just…Let me go…" I replied, as my body shook, my sobs surprisingly silent, as I struggled to get a hold of myself.

I needed help. I needed warmth. I needed sunlight, I needed comforting, I needed him. I needed someone to hold me, and love me. I was a broken and shattered doll. I was dead inside, and he knew it. I was so bitter. Despite what I said and how I said it, Sasuke's grip on my wrist didn't loosen. It tightened, as he jerked me toward him, his teeth snapping together.

I didn't bother resisting. I just stumbled backwards, falling through the air, my eyes wide as I turned and looked at him, our eyes, onyx and jade, locking the instant they met. Time slowed, as my heartbeat echoed in my ears, pounded through my skull, each beat pumping the blood throughout my frozen body, the wretched blood struggling to bring me back to life, unable to move through the frosted veins and arteries that made up my life stream.

My head bent backwards, as my throbbing heart leapt in my chest, warmth surging up and down my spine, the sound of his heartbeat pulsing in my skull, harmonizing to mine, as I fell closer and closer. My hair whistled past my ears, my jade eyes closed, my lips parted. I was about to fall into that onyx oblivion, reaching for him as I fell further and further into the lustrous depths.

But he didn't catch me. His right palm just firmly pushed me forward, getting me back up onto my feet, helping me regain my balance, nothing more. I swayed, my eyes wide, as I turned around, looking deep into his emotionless onyx eyes. They held nothing. They held no feelings, emotions, thoughts, unspoken words. They didn't even hold his beating heart. He was just as broken as I was.

"Are you-" I shook my head, closing my eyes so I didn't have to look at him anymore. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to hear his voice.

"Hurt? I was going to ask you the same thing." I replied bitterly, my voice clipped as I turned away from him, Sasuke snorting. Kakashi-sensei shook his head, sighing.

"Alright, why don't we just start the mission now." He drawled, stepping forward his hands in his pockets. Naruto nodded, and smiled weakly.

"That sounds good, Sensei." He answered, walking past Sasuke and me to follow Kakashi-sensei into the trees. I grabbed my left arm in my right hand, and took a few steps, my shoulder brushing Sasuke's as I walked by.

"I will find out what's hurting you, Sakura." I widened my eyes, and dropped my head. Like he cared. My tears dropped to the ground, adding their salty taste to the puddle at my feet.

"It won't change anything, you know." I replied, my voice soft. Sasuke's head turned to me, his black eyes serious. He wasn't kidding.

"I'll find a way." I shook my head. I didn't want him to help me. I didn't want him to care, because it would only be a lie. If he ever felt anything for me, he wouldn't mean it.

"Just don't even bother trying, okay? I'm too far gone, Sasuke. You think you'll be able to "fix" me, like a broken kunai knife?" I snapped, whirling on him, tossing my head in anger as I snarled. Sasuke didn't break.

"I'll find a way, even if you don't want me to." He replied, looking me in the eyes.

My heart pounded in my chest at the intensity of his eye contact. He wasn't kidding. He wasn't joking. He actually wanted to help me. He really did. It didn't matter if I didn't want to believe it, that feeling was there. He was driven to find me, to reach me inside this black oblivion I was falling into. My lip curled up. I was drowning him.

* * *

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her smirk. What could she be thinking? Why was she smiling? Could she be…Dying? I shook my head. There was no way. I'd know if she was dying, Naruto would shove it down my throat in an effort to make sure that I knew and wouldn't forget it.

But what I did know, was that she had a bone to pick with me. Sakura wasn't acting like herself. She wasn't happy, cheerful, annoying. She was callous, bitter, and smiling. Only this time, her smile was smug, twisted, despaired. Was she…Falling?

I couldn't see her heart blazing in the depths of her eyes anymore. Her jade irises, once so brilliant and warm whenever she looked at me, were made of glass now. She was shielding herself from me. She was trying to keep me out. But why? What had I done to her to shake her this much?

I looked at the doll called Sakura, the dark shadow that had fallen over her face, the way her pink bangs hung over her closed green eyes, her sinister smile. She was happy about something. She was smiling out of happiness…? That couldn't be right. She wasn't happy.

I narrowed my eyes, confused. Just what was wrong with her? I didn't recall saying anything overly hurtful to her over the past few days. Sure, I called her annoying a few times, brushed her off at least once, but she'd always came back. She hadn't shifted into this broken doll of a girl.

I lifted my right hand, slowly, carefully, my fingertips twitching as I moved my hand closer to her, my eyes closing. I couldn't use it on her. I couldn't turn the Sharingan on my teammate. I would never forgive myself if I used its powers on Sakura. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve whatever was hurting her.

My fingertips gently parted her pink side bangs, close to her throbbing pulse, as I blinked, her dark smirk flashing in front of my eyes. Why was she smiling? I didn't know the answer, and I more than likely wouldn't find out. She wouldn't tell me anything. She was mad at me. _Do it, Sasuke. Take her into your arms and hold her as tightly as you possibly can. Cradle her until she can't breathe anymore._

My hand froze, trembling violently. What the hell was that, that voice? I flicked my eyes from side to side, glancing around as my hand slowly moved forward again, her soft, wet pink hair brushing against my knuckles as I gently pressed my fingertips to the side of her face, the nerves on the ends of my fingers barely registering that I was touching her, it was so light.

Sakura's lip curled up even further, her eyes opening and turning to me, wild and blazing. I didn't falter. I just faced her evenly, my Sharingan appearing with one swift blink. The glass veil over her heart didn't crumble or break away. She just glared at me through that crystal clear glaze, the full force of her anger and pain struggling to penetrate me, pierce through my sturdy resolve. I wasn't backing down. I wasn't going to drown in her anger and pain.

_Do it, Sasuke. Drown yourself in those crystalline jade depths. _

I closed my eyes. No. I wasn't going to do what this creepy voice told me to do. My fingertips shook against her cheek, the lifted corner of her mouth, her lust filled eyes. She wanted me to make a move. She wanted me to break the silence. She was bored, restless. I could tell. I opened my Sharingan eyes, and sighed quietly.

"I will find out what's hurting you, Sakura. Whether you want me to, or not." I murmured, the wind blowing gently. Sakura's eyes softened.

"I know." She replied, her voice hollow. I lifted my hand away from her face, and turned, jumping up into the trees to catch up to Naruto and Kakashi, Sakura close behind.

* * *

For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, I smiled. His touch lingered on my cheek, the nerves in my cheek begging for more, my lips tingling, my heart fluttering, the static coursing through my blood. I wanted more. I was craving it now.

Why I didn't flick his hand away, I would never know. But I'm glad I didn't. It was sweet, and warm, and gentle, and full of kindness. Even though his Sharingan eyes had been glaring at me dead in the face as I smirked at him, his hand never changed. His fingertips stayed gentle, soft, comforting.

I looked forward, staring after him as he jumped through the trees, Kakashi-sensei and Naruto just ahead of us, his back turned to me. It was only now, at this moment, at this point in time when I could truly smile. No one could see it. No one could take a picture of it. It was just mine, and mine alone.

A lone tear rolled down the side of my face, as I smiled faintly, Sasuke catching up to Naruto and Kakashi-sensei, leaving me in the dust. But that was fine. He was still with me. At least, in my memories. I let the image of his eye contact with me and the feel of his fingertips on the side of my face flood my senses as I flew through the trees, smiling silently as I followed the three of them. Although it wouldn't make up for anything, he still showed some emotion toward me. And for that, I was grateful.

"…Thank you…Sasuke…"


End file.
